domingo, 30 de maio de 2010

Quer ficar mais bela? Saia com a sua melhor amiga feia!

Escrito por Isaias Malta

A grande verdade é que as mulheres buscam avidamente aparecer “bem na foto” em aparições públicas. Em função disso, elas gastam mundos e fundos para lutar contra tudo e contra todos e, principalmente, contra a gravidade.

Porém, há recursos infinitamente menos dolorosos do que cirurgias plásticas e menos enfadonhos do que tratamentos cosméticos e menos cansativos do que horas de tortura nas academias.

Infelizmente, ou melhor, felizmente a nossa percepção é baseada em padrões relativísticos e a beleza não foge disto. Afinal, você só é bonita ou feia comparativamente às mulheres do lugar. Mesmo sendo cruel, isto é a pura realidade que você será obrigada a concordar.

Então, a fórmula mágica da beleza instantânea não requer tratamentos caríssimos, nem dietas acachapantes e não exigirá que o seu corpitcho se mortifique na pesada rotina dos exercícios físicos.

1- Para entrar com o pé direito na balada, escolha a sua melhor amiga pela cara e não pelo coração. A primeira cena mostra um exemplo extremo para que você possa entender melhor o nosso método.

2- Se você é amiga da Regina Casé, o sucesso estará garantido.


3- Na praia então, a sua amiga feia pode adicionalmente lhe prestar pequenos favores, enquanto você se pavoneia para o seu público. Mesmo que esta cena se passe na distante praia de Vladivostok na Rússia, a fórmula funciona perfeitamente em qualquer praia brasileira.


4- Para te provar que a coisa funciona bem em terra brazilis, veja como a Sabrina Sato aplicou a técnica de maneira esplêndida, e depois a acusam de burra!


5- Uma cena a ser vigorosamente evitada: Kelly Osbourne, filha do Ozzy Osbourne se pavoneia ao lado da cantora soul Amy Winehouse. O problema começa quando as pessoas olham o quadro da dor e se perguntam: qual é a bonita, qual é a feia?

6- Situação que leva inevitavelmente ao desastre: você deve se recusar terminantemente a sair com as duas pessoas a seguir, tanto quanto o diabo foge da cruz. Falo da dupla de peso Megan Fox e Angelina Jolie. Elas próprias deveriam evitar aparecer juntas em público, pois suas belezas estonteantes certamente se anulariam. Se você é íntima de gente assim, jamais deveria topar aparecer numa balada com qualquer uma delas, sob pena de ficar segurando o candelabro de velas por toda a eternidade.


Moral da história: quem vê cara, não vê coração, mas se você tiver uma amiga ao lado com um coração boníssimo e uma estampa de assustar quarteirão, você terá tempo suficiente para brilhar antes que descubram este pequeno detalhe. Ahhh... a receita também serve para os homens, portanto, fuja do Brad Pitt!

(beijos!!, genial Isaías!!)

28 comentários:

Ruy disse...

Não deixa de ser uma troca. Acaba que todos se beneficiam.

Bjos

Wagner disse...

Partir de generalizações é sempre um problema, pq vc acaba empobrecendo classes, gêneros e etc..Mas o texto ficou bem divertido! Abraços!

Daniel Juliano disse...

E aí quando vão atualizar o blog???
Estou com saudades!!!

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